Honey, your August noir horoscope is here …

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your August is full of spicy mystery and sultry sideways glances. And happy birthday, Leo and Virgo! A special shout-out and remembrances to legendary Leos John Huston (Aug. 5), Lucille Ball and Robert Mitchum (both Aug. 6), Alfred Hitchcock (Aug. 13), Alma Hitchcock (Aug. 14), Ann Blyth (Aug. 16), Robert DeNiro and Sean Penn (both Aug. 17), Coco Chanel Aug. 19, and one-of-a-kind Virgos Elliott Gould and Ingrid Bergman (both Aug. 29).

Lucille Ball: Aug. 6, 1911 – April 26, 1989

Leo (July 24-August 23): In anticipation of your birthday – perhaps a milestone – you’ve been assessing, analyzing and reflecting. Now it’s time to just be. Oh, and open presents, eat cake and drink champagne. If you’re worried about getting older, reinvest that energy into something productive. As the comedy genius Lucille Ball put it: “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age.” Toward the end of the month, you’ll gain clarity about your career direction.

Virgo (August 24-September 23): There are certain inalienable rights of the femme fatale: sleeping in, owning too much lip gloss and refusing to diet. Stand your ground if someone in your inner circle disagrees with your stance on these issues. Besides, with your knack for diplomacy and tact, you’ll soon be preaching to the converted. Meanwhile, prepare to pace yourself as birthday-party invites pop up. You’ll be much in demand. Make time to savor summer pleasures – as a result, romance may find you. Choose your battles on the 25th.

Libra (September 24-October 23): You may feel that you’re butting your head against the wall on the career front as a project drags on or a job-search seems to stall. “Why isn’t Easy Street showing up on my GPS?” you ask. Here’s why: Things usually come to you so effortlessly that it’s a bit of a shock to realize you may need to hunker down and persevere to attain your goal. Horrid-sounding, I know. Don’t fret, though, it won’t come to the point of actually getting your hands dirty and chipping your nail polish. Just go with the flow. And, as a happy distraction, your love life heats up, especially midmonth.

Robert Mitchum: Aug. 6, 1917 – July 1, 1997

Scorpio (October 24-November 22): A chance meeting spurs you to take action on an important issue. (Of course, in noir, is anything really left to chance?) You will make the best choice possible. Your flair for stylish living comes in handy when a friend has wonderful news to celebrate – perhaps an old-school Hollywood soirée is in order? Even more than usual, you will be admired and adored on the weekend of the 20th. Make a point of managing expectations at work.

Sagittarius (November 23-December 22): According to Vogue’s Book of Etiquette, 1948, “It has been estimated that young girls, no matter how seriously they have been working, spend at least half their free time thinking about men. And how right they are! A job may not last a lifetime, but it is always to be hoped that a marriage will. What could be more important or more worthy of the deepest concentration?” So, go on, give in to romance and dwell on passion this month. Obsess all you want to about the object of your affection. Live in the moment and don’t give a hoot about the future or the past.

Capricorn (December 23-January 20): You’ve had a lot on your mind this summer but difficulties and worries will start to dissolve around the 12th. This means you can cut yourself some slack; enjoy a few lazy days and languid nights. You can also focus on key priorities like looking good and letting yourself be admired. Meanwhile, helping a friend with a communications project brings welcome attention your way. Don’t do anything you don’t feel like doing on the 2nd, 7th, 11th, 14th, 17th, 20th, 21st … you get the idea.

Robert De Niro was born Aug. 17, 1943.

Aquarius (January 21-February 19): Calculating risks and then taking them are the first order of business this month. Could be something little, like revealing a detail of your past to a new friend or love interest. Or it could be something major, like planning a move to a new locale where no one knows your alias and your mugshot isn’t on file. Either way, change is good. Around the 12th, you may feel that you’re looking for a needle in a haystack. If so, get the hell out of the hay field, head for the city and get yourself a cocktail, pronto!

Pisces (February 20-March 20): You may be running hot and cold about a person in your life or a place where you spend a lot of time. To gain fresh perspective, make a getaway and spend some time alone: an extra-long massage, a day at a spa or a weekend retreat on bewitchment. We all need time to ponder, and more importantly primp, in solitude. You may get some exciting news on the work front and be asked to share your novel approach. A little mayhem isn’t a bad thing on the 13th – in fact it might help clear the air.

Aries (March 21-April 20): An intriguing mystery comes your way around the 14th. It may speak to your inner private detective but would searching for clues entail getting off the sofa or cutting down on the time you spend on catnaps? In other words, before you devote a ton of energy to a potential time-suck, assess what’s in it for you and whether it’s really worth your time. If you’re not into it, don’t feel guilty about turning down the job. Enjoy the power of saying no; it’s more than a little addictive. Your love life really heats up around the 8th and again at month’s end. Enjoy the power of saying yes; it’s more than a little amusing.

Ingrid Bergman: Aug. 29, 1915 – Aug. 30, 1982

Taurus (April 21-May 21): Polishing your résumé is always a good idea; you never know when the perfect job may pop up. Meanwhile, about that yearning to be your own boss: draft a business plan, even if it’s highly preliminary. Then devote a few hours each week to researching sources of funding. It may be a long journey but at least you’ve taken the first step. On the 8th, recognizing the absurdity of an ongoing situation brings fresh insight. Midmonth, some shameless flirting leads to a delicious little adventure.

Gemini (May 22-June 21): A request from a client or colleague that at first seems a chore in fact reveals one of your hidden talents. When you enjoy something, you rock results. Meanwhile, realize that while you are often quite content as a self-contained little island, it’s probably a good idea to reaching out to others and be the initiator on the social front. You live to be inquisitive, after all, so this will ensure you have plenty of people to pepper with questions. Let loose on the 6th and set the tone for the whole month. Shrug off self-doubt on the work front.

Cancer (June 22-July 23): Attention to detail. Striving for quality. Patience. Having an old-school attitude toward your work may sometimes make you feel like you’re going against the grain in an age where many people don’t seem to be able to read an entire text message. So what? The grain is highly overrated and your commitment to producing fine, thoughtful work will serve you well in the long run. Around midmonth, your Sig Oth may be getting on your nerves just a tad – perhaps he forgot to cut the crust off your sandwich or overbuttered your toast? Let it slide. It may take him a lifetime to learn how to wait on you properly.

Comments