Honey, your February noir horoscope is here …

Clark Gable

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your February is full of luscious roses and flashy rocks. And happy birthday, Aquarius and Pisces!

A special shout-out to Aquarians Clark Gable and John Ford (both Feb. 1), Lana Turner (Feb. 8), Jennifer Aniston (Feb. 11), Kim Novak (Feb. 13) and Pisces women Drew Barrymore (Feb. 22), Joan Bennett and Elizabeth Taylor (Feb. 27).

Lana Turner

Aquarius (January 21-February 19): As you mark your birthday or extend the celebration, remember to be patient with people who (yawn!) lack your vision and courage. Be creative, solve problems, then go with the flow while the rest of the world catches up with you. If you’ve just begun dating someone, you needn’t be available 24/7 but do make time to hang out. It’s surprising how both sides can lose interest if too many days go by without reconnecting. In a relationship? Take the lead this Valentine’s Day and make it a Monday to remember.

Pisces (February 20-March 20): This month is all about celebrating the youness of you, especially if it’s your birthday. There is a project that calls for your expertise and you are well placed to provide direction. Lovely! But do not get roped into executing the nitty-gritty tactics, just because someone asks you nicely. On the social front, keep in mind the old saying: If you can’t be good, don’t get caught. You may need Excel to track your suitors as Valentine’s Day approaches. If you’re in an exclusive relationship, a long romantic weekend may be in the cards. Pay special attention to details on the weekend of the 18th.

Eleanor Roosevelt was born Oct. 11, 1884, making her a Libra. She died Nov. 7, 1962.

Aries (March 21-April 20): Eleanor Roosevelt said: “Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.” Good point. And if (OK when) you make a mistake, find the lesson and move on. No point in dwelling on could haves and should haves. Instead, spend your energy coming up with a fun surprise to thank a pal who recently did you a favor. Around the 23rd, don’t fret if you don’t cross every item off your to-do list. Tomorrow is another day. And in honor of Cupid, love your body; others will as well.

Taurus (April 21-May 21): “Because women are so often blamed for all the gossip, it takes a little time and experience to realize how much men gossip. But they do. Not only among themselves, but with their wives, their sisters, and their friends,” says Vogue’s Book of Etiquette, 1948. How true this is! This month, discretion and tact are key, especially when it comes to your love life. On the 14th, mix it up with your Man Du Jour. At work, you may experience a period of unparalleled productivity. Make sure you take credit where due. Your love of dressing up brings an unexpected benefit the weekend of the 26th.

Gemini (May 22-June 21): Who knows what could happen this month? Why, you might dye your hair blonde and move to Hawaii. One thing is sure: you will find tons of opportunities and new ways of seeing. Having trouble finding a good guy? Accept that you will probably have to go out of your comfort zone – have breakfast by yourself and don’t bury your nose in a newspaper. Join a running club or take a martial-arts class. Have a good guy? Let him know how special he is – maybe a series of notes on the bathroom mirror? Around the 21st you may have a diva moment. Enjoy!

Cancer (June 22-July 23): Hoping for a romantic spark that never seems to ignite? You know, making plans with that guy or girl whom you’ve dated a few times without generating any glimmer of chemistry. Sometimes, it just ain’t there and there’s no value in analyzing it to death, worrying that you’re too picky or that you go for the “wrong” kind of guy. You’ll find the right connection. On Valentine’s Day, there’s no need to be shy; plan something sinfully delicious. If single, perhaps a little champagne and sushi with your gal pals?

A classic Leo: Gabrielle "Coco" Chanel (Aug. 19, 1883 – Jan. 10, 1971)

Leo (July 24-August 23): Well, let’s face it, patience is not something you have much, um, patience for. But who cares? You have a knack for making things happen and that’s in hot demand this month. Best of all, as you accomplish a bunch o’ stuff, you will experience unusual fulfillment. Decide to trust yourself – you are smart, capable and creative – and you will get it all done. Then sit back and enjoy the ride, even if you’d like it to be a little faster. On the romance front, a moment of magic awaits you.

Virgo (August 24-September 23): Are you a good boss? A tad demanding is fine, but consider what it’s like in the shoes of someone lower down the totem pole. Self-employed? You’re often quite the hard-ass on yourself so make a point of being gentler. For the perfect Valentine’s gift, try baking cookies or writing an old-school love letter. Looking for the perfect Valentine? Be open to possibility and remember all it takes is one.

Libra (September 24-October 23): Offering an apology for a slight mistake may not quite meet the requirements of a persnickety friend or relative. Give it time. Meanwhile, remember why you spend time with this person in the first place and focus on his or her good traits. Femmes fatales are nothing if not optimistic, after all. At work, you will claim a victory midmonth. Asking for what you want is key to a delightful Valentine’s Night. Spoil yourself on the 1st, 7th, 12th, 14th, 23rd, 27th and 28th.

Scorpio (October 24-November 22): You’re on a high after turning in a stellar performance at work. Treat yourself to some time off. Also, keep track of all your job success; perhaps start a journal so you can record accomplishments. That way, when it’s time for your performance review, you will have an airtight case for a promotion. You’ll be extra connected to your man this month so make the most of it, especially on Valentine’s Day. If newly single, you’ll have fun meeting new people. Be flexible on the 20th.

Sag Kim Basinger was born Dec. 8, 1953.

Sagittarius (November 23-December 22): There is a Chinese proverb that says, “It’s as difficult to be rich without bragging as it is to be poor without complaining.” While bragging and complaining are equally unattractive, money means possibility, choices and freedom so don’t feel guilty for wanting an ample supply. Guilt (for any reason) saps your energy like a crack in your Limoges tea cup drains your ginseng peppermint. Treat yourself to a sexy red mani-pedi for instance, so you’ll look glam in Cupid’s honor. Be extra generous on the 12th.

Capricorn (December 23-January 20): I’m the first one to gush about the joy of shopping. But this month, before you drop cash on gorgeous heels or great heels, is there some other investment you should be making – say padding your retirement account or clearing away debt? If so, get that out of the way first. A wise friend of mine pays cash for everything (no credit) and it’s an excellent way to stay on track budgetwise. Oh, and as long as you’re taking a disciplined approach, be sure to maintain a regular schedule of flirting. If you don’t use those skills, you’ll lose them!

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