Honey, your November noir horoscope is here

November 2, 2012 by

Ryan Gosling turns 32 on Nov. 12.

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your November is full of smooth travel and tremendous turkey. And happy birthday, Scorpio and Sag! A special shout-out and remembrances to smokin’ Scorpios Tilda Swinton (Nov. 5), Leonardo Di Caprio (Nov. 11), Ryan Gosling and Grace Kelly (both Nov. 12), Veronica Lake (Nov. 14), Martin Scorsese (Nov. 17), Jodie Foster (Nov. 19) and Scarlett Johansson (Nov. 22) and stunning Sagittarians Gloria Grahame (Nov. 28) and Diane Ladd (Nov. 29).

Scorpio (October 24-November 22): Claim your power, b’day girl! This looks set to be a stellar month full of glitz and glamour so make the most of it. Take the lead on a work project, you will shine. Take the chance to be romantic, you will glow. Midmonth, a friend seeks advice on a thorny issue that may take you aback at first. You will find a way to provide counsel with empathy and wit, as usual. On the 10th, don’t make a decision until you have analyzed all factors.

Sagittarius (November 23-December 22): It’s so good to be you this month as things fall into place in a number of areas. You ace your work projects with nary a long night, you may have a lovely cushion of cash from scaling back this summer, you’re the toast of the town socially. Again? Well, so be it, there is just something inherently wonderful about you. As men fall under your spell, try to be fair with your attention and be sure to make time for sleep and exercise.

Scarlett Johansson will be 28 on Nov. 22. She plays Janet Leigh in “Hitchcock,” which had its world premiere last night at AFI Fest in Hollywood. She didn’t attend because she is in NYC rehearsing “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.” Photo: Picture Perfect/Rex Features/Guardian newspaper

Capricorn (December 23-January 20): Don’t romanticize a situation that recently went South – those red flags were blazing crimson, doll, and you were right to move on. You often see things others miss, after all. At work, though you’re already crazy busy, a colleague needs to lean on you. Let him, especially if he’s tall, dark and handsome. Be grateful all month long for the important things in life – champagne, lip gloss, pedicures, massages – what would we do without them? The 14th and 23rd are lucky.

Aquarius (January 21-February 19): Take a retro approach to financial management and save, save, save. Get with your French press and brown-bag it three days a week, and you will accrue extra dollars. If you are having a rocky road at work, document everything. If you later need to defend yourself or point out that a treacherous nincompoop “borrowed” your idea, you’ll be glad you have a written record of your efforts. Also, keep communication open with your boss, always being positive and to the point. Re: romance, sexy is as sexy does on the 12th.

Pisces (February 20-March 20): The holidays are around the corner. Does that mean shopping for everyone on your list, cooking for 20 and making small talk with deadly dull relatives? Hell no, it means shopping for a new LBD, a bubble bath before dinner cooked by someone else and going to the movies. To make that happen, get some help from a personal shopper, chef or sitter – whatever it takes for you to feel like a pampered femme fatale. At work, do your homework, then dare to solve a problem with an unconventional approach. [Read more…]

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Honey, your September noir horoscope is here

September 1, 2012 by

Sophia Loren was born on Sept. 20, 1934.

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your September is full of intriguing possibilities and sublime pleasures. And happy birthday, Virgo and Libra! A special shout-out and remembrances to alluring Virgos Yvonne De Carlo (Sept. 1), Salma Hayek (Sept. 2), Evan Rachel Wood (Sept. 7), Brian De Palma (Sept. 11), Tommy Lee Jones and Oliver Stone (both Sept. 15), Lauren Bacall (Sept. 16) and Sophia Loren (Sept. 20) and exquisitely talented Libras F. Scott Fitzgerald (Sept. 24), William Faulkner, Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones (all Sept. 25), Gwyneth Paltrow (Sept. 27), Naomi Watts (Sept. 28) and Lizabeth Scott (Sept. 29).

Virgo (August 24-September 23): With a birthday nigh (or just celebrated) you may be planning a shopping trip or two. If Man Du Jour wants to come along, that’s not a bad idea. You don’t want your arms to get all red and sore from carrying bags or your feet to get tired from multiple trips to the car. When perusing the racks, remember what Virgo icon Sophia Loren (Sept. 20, 1934) said: “A woman’s dress should be like a barbed wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view.” At work, your precision pays off. At play, romance comes to the fore. Enjoy!

Libra (September 24-October 23): Make the most of your birthday this year – so you don’t like the number, what’s the alternative?! In fact, milk the occasion for all its worth (the more celebrations the better) and let your fam and friends spoil you day after day. If anyone accuses you of egomania this month, deign to explain that everyone is entitled to be spoiled once in a while and that you are more than happy to return the favor. Then let your ever-present generosity take its course. Be prepared to act as a teacher or guide on the 9th.

Scorpio Viggo Mortensen was born Oct. 20, 1958.

Scorpio (October 24-November 22): A difficult situation resolves itself and you feel a sense of freedom. Remember that in the present moment, everything is perfect. Your positive energy has a healing effect on someone close to you. Midmonth, you will find clarity regarding a decision you’ve been struggling with. Trust that it’s meant to be – there’s no second-guessing Fate in Noirville, you know. Love is in the air, or should I say shadows, on the 14th and 23rd.

Sagittarius (November 23-December 22): Be grateful that you can charm people without even lifting a finger – not everyone has this unique ability. Charm will be mighty handy as you re-establish contact with a person from your past or, more challenging, commune with who you were in the past. Judge not, lest ye be judged. 😉 Think about where you were, the progress you’ve made and what’s next. Then, clear your palate and get back to the dark side by popping in a Fritz Lang film noir: Let the fatalism begin!

Capricorn (December 23-January 20): Pout if you feel like it. It’s entirely possible that you have grounds to be annoyed with a person or situation. Remember though that anger often gives us a false sense of power. That said, if you do need to clear the air, do it sooner rather than later. Then, put your feet up; that was bloody exhausting! Treat yourself to a few new clothes or a gorgeous lip color. You will be going out on the town. Well, duh.

Christian Bale turned 38 on Jan. 30, 2012.

Aquarius (January 21-February 19): It’s time to make a bold move. Life is short and the police might be tailing you. So, take a plunge, take the money and run, or take the ultimate dare and wear fire-engine red and fishnets at 8 a.m. Whatever the action, it’s likely something you’ve been wanting to do for a while. A long shot suddenly seems eminently viable. If your lover keeps you happy, be sure to let him know. Your contentment may inspire a friend to re-enter the dating world.

Pisces (February 20-March 20): Take a little risk and you will reap benefits. More than likely, you may need some time to yourself this month to decompress. Make sure you have your getaway route all mapped out. And guilt? Oh honey, that’s something we femmes fatales just don’t give in to. Toward the end of the month, you find a way to deal with a tyrant. As you add a few pieces to your fall wardrobe, be prepared for a flurry of compliments and extra attention.

Aries (March 21-April 20): Think small this month – remember that little words, gestures and acts have great power. On the 12th, you may feel the urge to rant or raise your voice at a lazy accomplice or errant admirer but that will likely lead to a stalemate. See if there’s a way to make your point without getting riled and keep this person squarely on your little finger. At work, stand your ground, even as your professionalism is lauded and your ability praised.

Johnny Depp = Gemini cool. His b'day: June 9, 1963.

Taurus (April 21-May 21): Your steadfast determination always gets rave results. If you hit a wall on a project this month, try to pause and reassess without stressing. Create a place of calm and you will replace frustration with inspiration. You will experience a breakthrough in communication with Man Du Jour. Be sure to keep your lips soft and kissable, you’ll be busy on that front. Let your intuition guide you, especially on the 6th and 16th.

Gemini (May 22-June 21): According to Vogue’s Book of Etiquette, 1948, the word “valise” should not be used instead of “bag” or “luggage” or “suitcase” because it is an unnecessary Gallicism. An unnecessary Gallicism? Heavens above, how perfectly frightful! Well, hair-splitting aside, you have need for a stylish tote as travel beckons. Whether for work or pleasure, it will likely bring a fresh new perspective. And don’t rule out the possibility of meeting a mysterious stranger along the way. Midmonth, you will claim an unlikely triumph.

A classic Leo, Sir Michael is happy to be in the spotlight. See how he finagled his way onto this page? Mick Jagger was born July 26, 1943.

Cancer (June 22-July 23): They say all that glitters is not gold, but silver and platinum will do fine too. This is a great time to focus on your prosperity – find a way to cut expenses, generate more revenue, ask for a raise or look into being a kept woman. 😉 Your passion and intensity make others look to you for leadership. Be fair to all parties as you juggle various interests. Your favorite man may surprise you before month’s end.

Leo (July 24-August 23): You will feel especially powerful this month as you easily connect and hit it off with nearly everyone you encounter. Celebrate your magnetism and relish your independence. A rivalry finally subsides and a friendship follows. At work, remember to provide a pat on the back to a colleague; it will be appreciated. Men are like putty in your hands. Well, what else is new?

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Honey, your April noir horoscope is here …

April 1, 2012 by

Peck: April 5, 1916-June 12, 2003

Nicholson was born April 22, 1937.

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your April is full of sunny days, sparkling jewelry and sensual delights. And happy birthday, Aries and Taurus! A special shout-out to amazing Ariens Bette Davis, Spencer Tracy and Gregory Peck (April 5), Francis Ford Coppola and Russell Crowe (April 7), Julie Christie (April 14), Maria Bello (April 18) and Taurus mega stars Jack Nicholson (April 22), Al Pacino (April 25) and Penelope Cruz (April 28).

Aries (March 21-April 20): Let nothing stand in your way this month! Yes, there may be setbacks but that will make your ultimate success so much sweeter. If in doubt, consider this quotation from Aries legend Bette Davis (April 5, 1908-Oct. 6, 1989): “Acting should be bigger than life. Scripts should be bigger than life. It should ALL be bigger than life.” Jump in and make it happen. As for your love life, forget the past and focus on fun. If single, channel your femme fatale to turn on the allure. If attached, allow your man to indulge you – any Aries worth her salt enjoys a little (OK, a lot of) worship.

Taurean Bettie Page is the subject of a new documentary.

Taurus (April 21-May 21): Embrace your unique insight and abilities this month, and avoid any tendency to compare yourself to others. As iconic pinup model Bettie Page (April 22, 1923 – Dec. 11, 2008) reflected: “I was not trying to be shocking, or to be a pioneer. I wasn’t trying to change society, or to be ahead of my time. I didn’t think of myself as liberated, and I don’t believe that I did anything important. I was just myself. I didn’t know any other way to be, or any other way to live.” (A documentary called “Bettie Page Reveals All” releases this month in Vegas.) Around the 19th, your success on a project calls for a stylish celebration, in addition to any b’day festivities in the works.

Gemini (May 22-June 21): If something irks you midmonth, go on, get riled up. Anger in small doses is not a bad thing. Remember though, anger is a secondary emotion – it stems from hurt or fear. So be sure to examine and assess the root of your feeling. With a new work project, you may feel that you are cast against type, but don’t let that drain your confidence. You can rock any role that comes your way and get rave reviews. On the romantic front, let instinct and intuition guide you, especially on the 21st.

Cancer (June 22-July 23): You’ve been a supportive friend and a good listener for someone who keeps falling into the same futile pattern. To put it bluntly, this story is worn out. Time to speak your mind, choosing your words carefully, of course. Don’t overthink things with your Man du Jour – after all, what’s sexier than a relaxed, confident vibe? If you sense that a rival is attempting to undermine you around the 12th realize that she/he is likely threatened by your prowess and verve.

John Cusack was born in Evanston, Ill., on June 28, 1966.

Leo (July 24-August 23): Being in the right place at the right time is key to productive communication this month and you’ll find that, without too much effort, you are making valuable connections. You know, like when that sweet security guard at the bank gave you his access code. A chance to collaborate on a creative venture means that you may have to surrender some control to another’s vision. This requires trust, humility and flexibility. Are you game? You’ll be admired (yes, yet again) on the 7th, 19th and 29th.

Virgo (August 24-September 23): Dreamers and dandies and their pie-in-the-sky plans leave you feeling exasperated. Grounded, practical Virgo wants details, fleshed out facts and a thought-out gameplan. Better to divert your energy to projects that are attuned to your bottom-line way of working. Meanwhile, extra, uh, demands in your love life spur you to look your best – one more yoga class, skipping dessert, a facial and massage. One thing leads to another in more ways than one. Flirt like crazy on the 6th. And any other day you feel like it.

Libra (September 24-October 23): Enough! If you’re up to your eyeballs in someone else’s drama, it’s time to save yourself. Instead of commiserating, put the problem back on the drama king or queen. Besides, you’ll have your hands full with your own noir narrative – midmonth, you may have a seduction to engineer or a clever plot to weave. Let logic take a backseat to imagination and you’ll be surprised at what you accomplish. A day of full-on frivolity is in order on the 21st.

Scorpio (October 24-November 22): Every once in a while, Scorpio’s intensity gets a tad over-the-top. So, this month, make a point of living in the moment and living that moment up! Be spontaneous and don’t waste time on guilt. On the romantic front, if single, throw out your checklist – you might see sparks fly with someone who seems incompatible on the surface. If attached, throw out expectations. As usual, relish your talent for making the first move. Magic awaits you around the 14th.

Actress, director and writer Julie Delpy exemplifies Sag charm. She was born in Paris on Dec. 21, 1969.

Sagittarius (November 23-December 22): Recently, you may have noticed that your love life seems off-balance – for example, the guy you have fun with isn’t the one you want to kiss. Or, if you’re in a LTR, scheduling conflicts may be prevailing over romance of late. Relish your power, take charge and be the aggressor. Oh, again? Fret not, you’ll be glad you did. In other realms, resist any temptation to take a cheap shot with an ex or former associate who frankly is just not worthy of your time or energy. You’re better off doing something meaningful like getting your hair blown out.

Capricorn (December 23-January 20): Remember that while generosity is gorgeous, giving too much to an ingrate can be disastrous. As a bad girl, you’re supposed to be the taker, right? Boundaries, though sometimes hard to set, can be mighty important in terms of improving relationships. Your amazing ability to make the most of every day, even in the face of a disappointment, inspires those around you. You may uncover an extra source of income; the 16th is a good day to take a little chance.

Aquarius (January 21-February 19): “Flowers, candy, and current books … are the classic gifts which a woman may accept from a man without hesitation,” explains Vogue’s Book of Etiquette, 1948. But honestly what self-respecting seductress would turn down a big old sparkly rock? Never stand on ceremony if there’s more than half a carat involved. And be sure to celebrate spring with fresh, fun color – Chanel’s Coco Blue nail polish, perhaps? By the end of the month, an old contact may be in touch with an interesting proposition.

Pisces (February 20-March 20): It might be high time for a spring shopping spree. But before you whip out your wallet, consider the singular beauty of a big fat bank balance; it is a sight to behold. Perhaps you could get by on last year’s haul or restrict yourself to one frugal purchase. A change of scene midmonth gives you much-needed perspective and may help you make a major decision. Be bold with your man the week of the 18th. Come to think of it, why wait till then?

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Honey, your March noir horoscope is here …

March 1, 2012 by

Sharon Stone

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your March is full of sexy lions, luscious lambs and lusty Irishmen. And happy birthday, Pisces and Aries! A special shout-out to Pisces lookers Javier Bardem (March 1), Daniel Craig (March 2), Jean Harlow (March 3), Rachel Weisz (March 7), Sharon Stone (March 10), Glenn Close and Bruce Willis (both March 19), Spike Lee (March 20) and Aries A-listers Reese Witherspoon (March 22), Joan Crawford (March 23) and Keira Knightley (March 26).

Jean Harlow (March 3, 1911 - June 7, 1937)

Pisces (February 20-March 20): The original platinum blonde Jean Harlow called things as she saw them, even about herself. As she put it: “I was not a born actress. No one knows it better than I. If I had any latent talent, I have had to work hard, listen carefully, do things over and over and then over again in order to bring it out.” Following in this famed Pisces’ footsteps, you will experience uncommon clarity in all areas of your life this month. It is an excellent time to make a major decision. Midmonth, help a pal see the humor in a challenging situation.

Aries (March 21-April 20): The Chinese say a happy person needs no reason to be happy. And if you are celebrating your birthday, you have extra cause for joy! If you have a romantic setback (a spat, perhaps, or trouble finding someone you actually want to date), don’t be glum. Just think of it as paving the way for a) a deeper bond with your lovah or b) finally meeting someone great. The point is to be open to life’s gifts, from Saks, Neiman Marcus, Henri Bendel or even from the little old universe. Meanwhile, you may be surprised when a work trip takes on an ample element of pleasure.

Taurus (April 21-May 21): Is there anything more important than looking glamorous? Well, maybe world peace and curing cancer but no matter how many worthy causes we support it’s just as important to nourish the soul with beauty. And if you find beauty in jewelry, cash, clothes and shoes, then so be it. Keep in mind that in addition to your accomplishments, you will be remembered for how well you treat people so give the benefit of the doubt, tip generously and be the first to smile. The 8th is an ideal time to take a small risk.

Gemini (May 22-June 21): Be ready to take charge this month, especially if you are embarking on an exciting adventure, such as a trip abroad. At the same time, try to approach things as a child would – you will learn more and feel more this way. Remember, nothing is written. It is up to you to guide the pen and draft the future. If, however, you are facing a deadline and nothing is written, best to get scribbling!  Fake it till you make it on the 25th.

Perhaps the greatest noir writer of all: Chicago-born Raymond Chandler (July 23, 1888 - March 26, 1959)

Cancer (June 22-July 23): You have an innate ability to appreciate nuance; be patient with those who aren’t so blessed. Let sass and sarcasm flow on the 6th, 17th, 30th and 31st (like that will be hard). A seemingly trivial conversation with a stranger midmonth may have deep significance. On the romantic front, things sizzle, then take a serious turn. Also, find a few days to enjoy the art of doing nothing. It’s quite lovely.

Leo (July 24-August 23): A friend who typically favors older guys may need prodding to be open to the joys of younger men and, as an accomplished cougar, you may need to lead by example. Aaah, the sacrifices we make for friends. At work, you might find yourself swooping in to save your boss this month. Though he or she may appreciate this, don’t make a habit of saving every day unless you get a nice dollop of recognition or, better yet, a roll of cold, hard cash! Never say never on the 17th.

Virgo (August 24-September 23): Va-va voom hair for no particular reason? A sip of champagne just because? Silly question. You don’t need a special occasion to indulge yourself. Besides, you may need a little distraction as you await the outcome of a decision; trust that it will work out for the best. If planning a St. Patty’s Day party, don’t stress. Remember, an Irish seven-course meal is easy to prepare. Who couldn’t rustle up a six-pack and a potato? Be the bigger person the weekend of the 24th.

Libra (September 24-October 23): You may be privy to confidential information this month and be tempted to share it. Think carefully, though, before repeating. Once the cat’s out of the bag, it will be demanding food and asking where the litter box is. At work, your unique combination of creativity, sensitivity and diplomacy wins you extra attention. Make time to appreciate pleasures, whether simple or wildly extravagant. Actually, probably best to go for the latter. Killer heels are just the ticket on the weekend of the 18th.

Actress and inventor Hedy Lamarr (Nov. 9, 1913-Jan. 19, 2000)

Scorpio (October 24-November 22): Don’t settle for second best in your love life. Remember that real men don’t love a million different women, they love one woman a million different ways. (It’s another story for women, of course, but it’s still a nice sentiment.) Trying to kick a bad habit? Realize that it may be one of the most difficult things you ever do. If it happens to be smoking, when you feel the urge to light up, aside from the health issues, know that with each puff, you are making a bunch of rich, old, fat white guys fatter and richer on your dime. Indulge your wild side on the 21st.

Sagittarius (November 23-December 22): A new development at work may not be to your liking. If speaking now or forever holding your peace are not appealing options, dust off your resume and start to circulate. But don’t think of it as job hunting. Think of it as personal research. True, you may find that there is nothing out there, in which case you will likely find fresh gratitude and appreciation for what you have. On the other hand, knowledge is power and you might uncover a new opportunity that’s just right for your high standards and stellar talent. Flirt like crazy on the 3rd, 9th, 19th and 25th. Oh, and then maybe a bit more on the 28th and 31st.

Archibald Leach a.k.a. Cary Grant (Jan. 18, 1904 - Nov. 29, 1986)

Capricorn (December 23-January 20): “Adroit hosts will draw the best out of each guest, and present him in the best and most interesting light to others,” says Vogue’s Book of Etiquette, 1948, in a chapter on entertaining. Apt advice whether you are throwing a dinner party, running a department or playing matchmaker. And let’s face it, Caps get called on to do all those things and more, so mighty are their powers of planning and organization. Around the 10th, you may make a leap of faith in your love life.

Aquarius (January 21-February 19): Your knack for solving thorny problems comes in handy with a client or colleague the week of the 5th. Make a point of praising those who work for you and, while you’re at it, a dear friend could use a compliment (hell, make it a gush-fest) as well. Find a fun way to surprise your man – have you ever sent him flowers or left a little gift on his pillow? If you don’t have a Man Du Jour, put yourself out there consistently; nothing ventured, nothing gained. Enjoy your ingénue moment on the 24th.

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Honey, your February noir horoscope is here …

February 1, 2012 by

Clark Gable

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your February is full of luscious roses and flashy rocks. And happy birthday, Aquarius and Pisces!

A special shout-out to Aquarians Clark Gable and John Ford (both Feb. 1), Lana Turner (Feb. 8), Jennifer Aniston (Feb. 11), Kim Novak (Feb. 13) and Pisces women Drew Barrymore (Feb. 22), Joan Bennett and Elizabeth Taylor (Feb. 27).

Lana Turner

Aquarius (January 21-February 19): As you mark your birthday or extend the celebration, remember to be patient with people who (yawn!) lack your vision and courage. Be creative, solve problems, then go with the flow while the rest of the world catches up with you. If you’ve just begun dating someone, you needn’t be available 24/7 but do make time to hang out. It’s surprising how both sides can lose interest if too many days go by without reconnecting. In a relationship? Take the lead this Valentine’s Day and make it a Monday to remember.

Pisces (February 20-March 20): This month is all about celebrating the youness of you, especially if it’s your birthday. There is a project that calls for your expertise and you are well placed to provide direction. Lovely! But do not get roped into executing the nitty-gritty tactics, just because someone asks you nicely. On the social front, keep in mind the old saying: If you can’t be good, don’t get caught. You may need Excel to track your suitors as Valentine’s Day approaches. If you’re in an exclusive relationship, a long romantic weekend may be in the cards. Pay special attention to details on the weekend of the 18th. [Read more…]

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Happy New Year, y’all! Your January horoscope is here

January 1, 2012 by

Nicolas Cage

Tippi Hedren

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your January is full of realistic resolutions, staggering (as in 75% off) sales and sexy snow men. And happy birthday, Capricorn and Aquarius! A special shout-out to Caps Nicolas Cage (Jan. 7), Faye Dunaway and Larry Kasdan (both Jan. 14), Kate Moss (Jan. 16), Tippi Hedren (Jan. 19), Diane Lane (Jan. 22), Heather Graham (Jan. 29) and, sharing Jan. 30, Christian Bale and Gene Hackman.

Capricorn (December 23-January 20): Aah, the newness of 2012! Clean slates and fresh joy await you this month. It’s also a great time for a new look so open your closet and unleash your formidable organizational power. Edit away, then take advantage of the sales. While shopping, be open to taking risks. A bold yellow or green or orange can be a great neutral. Work heats up but you are more than up to any extra challenges. Don’t rush romance, better to let it simmer than boil over too quickly. Follow your intuition on the 14th.

Aquarius (January 21-February 19): It’s your birthday – what better reason to celebrate? Your January social calendar will be packed. Enjoy being showered with love and affection this month. All the attention might inspire you to engineer a fun surprise for a pal who needs a pick-me-up (and alas has tried online dating). You will have much to juggle so plan ahead and make the extra effort to attain balance. Ain’t nothing wrong with some downtime, don’t forget. What first appears to be a casual get-together toward the end of the month may in fact be a date with destiny. [Read more…]

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Honey, your December horoscope is here …

December 1, 2011 by

Julie Delpy

Marianne Faithfull

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your December is full of expensive champagne, exquisite gifts and elegant entrances to parties. And happy birthday, Sagittarius and Capricorn! A special shout-out to Sag stars Julianne Moore (Dec. 3), Kim Basinger (Dec. 8), Julie Delpy (Dec. 21) and Vanessa Paradis (Dec. 22); and super-sexy Caps, the late Ava Gardner (Dec. 24), Sienna Miller (Dec. 28) and Marianne Faithfull (Dec. 29).

Sagittarius (November 23-December 22): Charismatic and funny, Sag values intelligence and fresh perspectives. Diligent portion control followed by triumphant shopping these last few weeks have been well worth the effort. You are being noticed even more than usual so try to be fair and carve out a little time for the slew of people wanting to socialize. That said, it’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind. Remember that mid-month when you feel bound to do something simply because of a crossed conversational wire. A brilliant idea occurs to you around the 12th.

Capricorn (December 23-January 20): Possibility abounds now and in the New Year. Don’t concern yourself with what’s realistic, feasible or practical. There will be plenty of time for thorough scrutiny later on but, at this juncture, dream big and think boldly. It will come together one piece at a time. On the romantic front, you may be tempted by a coy boy; enjoy the dalliance without rushing into anything. If attached, celebrate your passion, hell, get creative. The holiday-party circuit will keep you extra busy and may open new doors. [Read more…]

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Honey, your September horoscope is here …

September 1, 2011 by

Yvonne De Carlo

Evan Rachel Wood

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your September is full of intriguing possibilities and sublime pleasures. And happy birthday, Virgo and Libra! A special shout-out and remembrances to alluring Virgos Yvonne De Carlo (Sept. 1), Salma Hayek (Sept. 2), Evan Rachel Wood (Sept. 7), Brian De Palma (Sept. 11), Tommy Lee Jones and Oliver Stone (both Sept. 15), Lauren Bacall (Sept. 16) and Sophia Loren (Sept. 20) and exquisitely talented Libras F. Scott Fitzgerald (Sept. 24), William Faulkner, Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones (all Sept. 25), Gwyneth Paltrow (Sept. 27), Naomi Watts (Sept. 28) and Lizabeth Scott (Sept. 29).

Virgo (August 24-September 23): With a birthday nigh (or just celebrated) you may be pondering the possibility of a little shot of Botox that no one but you and your dermo need to know about. But, for the price of that needle, you could buy a lot of massage time and yoga classes, which offer benefits aplenty. And you still look great. Remember what Virgo icon Sophia Loren said: “Sex appeal is 50 percent what you’ve got and 50 percent what people think you’ve got.” At work, your precision pays off. At play, romance comes to the fore. Enjoy!

Libra (September 24-October 23): You will feel especially powerful this month as you easily connect and hit it off with nearly everyone you encounter. Celebrate your magnetism and relish your independence. A rivalry finally subsides and a friendship follows. At work, remember to provide a pat on the back to a colleague; it will be appreciated. Men are like putty in your hands. Well, what else is new? [Read more…]

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Honey, your August horoscope is here …

August 1, 2011 by
Alfred Hitchcock

Alfred Hitchcock

Alma Hitchcock

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your August is full of spicy mystery and sultry sideways glances. And happy birthday, Leo and Virgo! A special shout-out and remembrances to legendary Leos John Huston (Aug. 5), Lucille Ball and Robert Mitchum (both Aug. 6), Alfred Hitchcock (Aug. 13), Alma Hitchcock (Aug. 14), Ann Blyth (Aug. 16), Robert DeNiro and Sean Penn (Aug. 17), Coco Chanel Aug. 19, and one-of-a-kind Virgos Elliott Gould and Ingrid Bergman (both Aug. 29).

Leo (July 24-August 23): You have so much going on this birthday month, on every front, you’ll feel like a kid in a candy shop or a celeb at a swagfest. Opportunities abound to express your creativity and, without even trying, ideas for expansion and innovation pop into your lioness brain. Meanwhile, a flurry of swank invitations lands on your doorstep. Pace yourself and remember to take a breather so as not to be overwhelmed. A friend may need you to serve as a stylist around the 18th.

Virgo (August 24-September 23): You may feel that you’re butting your head against the wall on the career front as a project drags on or a job-search seems to stall. “Why isn’t Easy Street showing up on my GPS?” you ask. Here’s why: Things usually come to you so effortlessly that it’s a bit of a shock to realize you may need to hunker down and persevere to attain your goal. Horrid-sounding, I know. Don’t fret, though, it won’t come to the point of actually getting your hands dirty and chipping your nail polish. Just go with the flow, have faith, and you’ll be fine. And, as a happy distraction, your love life heats up, especially midmonth. [Read more…]

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Honey, your July horoscope is here …

July 1, 2011 by

Eva Marie Saint

Hilary Swank

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your July is full of sizzling romance and risqué adventures. And happy birthday, Cancer and Leo!

A special shout-out and remembrances to captivating Cancers James M. Cain and Farley Granger (July 1), Eva Marie Saint (July 4), Janet Leigh (July 6), Anjelica Huston (July 8) and Barbara Stanwyck (July 16), and trend-setting Leos Helen Mirren, Sandra Bullock and Stanley Kubrick (July 26), Jackie Kennedy Onassis (July 28) and Hilary Swank (July 30).

Cancer (June 22-July 23): A friend or relative launches a monthlong complain-a-thon, but damn if you didn’t forget which channel it’s on. Oh well, guess you’ll just miss all the woe-is-me excitement. Don’t feel guilty about cutting back the time you spend with closet negheads – you know the ones. Just politely decline when they try to lure you in. Meanwhile, take a spontaneous road trip or wear that daring dress you bought. Summer is the perfect time to mix it up and turn a few heads. Be prepared for lots of attention from the opposite sex the week of 14th.

Leo (July 24-August 23): “Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow,” says Martin Sheen’s character in “Wall Street.” This month, the less you think about cash, the easier it will flow. Your imagination and prowess for problem solving come into the spotlight (me in the spotlight again? oh, all right …) as you easily piece together the pieces to a puzzle at work. Let yourself be playful in relationships. Your inner calm averts a crisis on the 24th. If you need to take the lead planning your b’day bash, so be it. Make it an event to remember! [Read more…]

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