Honey, your April horoscope is here …

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your April is devoid of tiresome fools and fretting over taxes, and instead marked by spring’s sensual delights and adorable bunnies bearing baskets of treats. And happy birthday, Aries and Taurus! A special shout-out to Aries bad asses Bette Davis, Spencer Tracy and Gregory Peck (April 5), Francis Ford Coppola and Russell Crowe (April 7), Julie Christie and Sarah Michelle Gellar (April 14), Maria Bello (April 18) and Taurus mega-talents Jack Nicholson (April 22), Al Pacino (April 25) and Penelope Cruz (April 28).

Bette Davis

Aries (March 21-April 20): Just when you thought strong-willed Aries was aptly personified by Joan Crawford (March 26), along comes Bette Davis (April 5) to give Joan a run for her money. An actress, a fighter and a thinker, Davis was always ahead of her time. One off-screen example: When she co-founded and ran the Hollywood Canteen, a nightclub for WWII servicemen, she insisted that the venue be racially integrated, pointing out that in combat, “The black soldiers take the bullets the same as the whites.” This month, follow in her determined footsteps and, on the creative front, adhere to this Davis maxim: “Attempt the impossible in order to improve your work.” Meanwhile, live it up! Be spontaneous, sexy and silly, and don’t waste time on guilt.

Taurus (April 21-May 21): It might be high time for a spring shopping spree. But before you whip out your wallet, consider the singular beauty of a big fat bank balance; it is a sight to behold. Perhaps you could get by on last year’s haul or restrict yourself to one frugal purchase. Don’t forget to tap your crafty, ever-so-slightly conniving side to dream up a few clever April Fools’ jokes. You shouldn’t deny your adoring fans the chance to enjoy your terrific flair for fun. Be bold with your man the week of the 18th. Come to think of it, why wait till then? [Read more…]

Honey, your March horoscope is here …

A smoldering Joan Crawford

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your March is full of sexy lions, luscious lambs and lusty Irishmen. And happy birthday, Pisces and Aries! A special shout-out to Pisces sexpots Javier Bardem (March 1), Daniel Craig (March 2), Jean Harlow (March 3), Rachel Weisz (March 7), Sharon Stone (March 10), Glenn Close and Bruce Willis (March 19), Spike Lee (March 20) and Aries sirens Reese Witherspoon (March 22) and Joan Crawford (March 23) and Keira Knightley (March 26).

Capricorn (December 23-January 20): Is there anything more important than looking glamorous? Well, maybe world peace and curing cancer but no matter how many worthy causes we support it’s just as important to nourish the soul with beauty. And if you find beauty in jewelry, cash, clothes and shoes, then so be it. Keep in mind that in addition to your accomplishments, you will be remembered for how well you treat people so give the benefit of the doubt, tip generously and be the first to smile. The 8th is an ideal time to take a small risk. [Read more…]

Honey, your February horoscope is here …

Kim Novak in "Vertigo"

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your February is full of riches and romance. And happy birthday, Aquarius and Pisces! A special shout-out to Aquarians Clark Gable and John Ford (both Feb. 1), Lana Turner (Feb. 8), Jennifer Aniston (Feb. 11), Kim Novak (Feb. 13) and Pisces women Drew Barrymore (Feb. 22), Joan Bennett and Elizabeth Taylor (Feb. 27).

Capricorn (December 23-January 20): There is a Chinese proverb that says, “It’s as difficult to be rich without bragging as it is to be poor without complaining.” While bragging and complaining are equally unattractive, money means possibility, choices and freedom so don’t feel guilty for wanting an ample supply. Guilt (for any reason) saps your energy like a crack in your Limoges tea cup drains your ginseng peppermint. Treat yourself to a classic red mani-pedi (Revlon’s Frankly Scarlet, for instance, or MAC’s Asiatique) so you’ll look glam in Cupid’s honor. Be extra generous on the 12th.
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Aquarius (January 21-February 19): There is a project that calls for your expertise and you are well placed to provide direction. Lovely! But do not get roped into executing the nitty-gritty tactics, just because someone asks you nicely. On the social front, keep in mind the old saying: If you can’t be good, don’t get caught. And when was the last time you were good, 1997?. You may need Excel to track your suitors in the leadup to Valentine’s. If you’re in an exclusive relationship, a long romantic weekend may be in the cards. Pay special attention to details on the weekend of the 18th. [Read more…]