Honey, your November noir horoscope is here

Ryan Gosling turns 32 on Nov. 12.

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your November is full of smooth travel and tremendous turkey. And happy birthday, Scorpio and Sag! A special shout-out and remembrances to smokin’ Scorpios Tilda Swinton (Nov. 5), Leonardo Di Caprio (Nov. 11), Ryan Gosling and Grace Kelly (both Nov. 12), Veronica Lake (Nov. 14), Martin Scorsese (Nov. 17), Jodie Foster (Nov. 19) and Scarlett Johansson (Nov. 22) and stunning Sagittarians Gloria Grahame (Nov. 28) and Diane Ladd (Nov. 29).

Scorpio (October 24-November 22): Claim your power, b’day girl! This looks set to be a stellar month full of glitz and glamour so make the most of it. Take the lead on a work project, you will shine. Take the chance to be romantic, you will glow. Midmonth, a friend seeks advice on a thorny issue that may take you aback at first. You will find a way to provide counsel with empathy and wit, as usual. On the 10th, don’t make a decision until you have analyzed all factors.

Sagittarius (November 23-December 22): It’s so good to be you this month as things fall into place in a number of areas. You ace your work projects with nary a long night, you may have a lovely cushion of cash from scaling back this summer, you’re the toast of the town socially. Again? Well, so be it, there is just something inherently wonderful about you. As men fall under your spell, try to be fair with your attention and be sure to make time for sleep and exercise.

Scarlett Johansson will be 28 on Nov. 22. She plays Janet Leigh in “Hitchcock,” which had its world premiere last night at AFI Fest in Hollywood. She didn’t attend because she is in NYC rehearsing “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.” Photo: Picture Perfect/Rex Features/Guardian newspaper

Capricorn (December 23-January 20): Don’t romanticize a situation that recently went South – those red flags were blazing crimson, doll, and you were right to move on. You often see things others miss, after all. At work, though you’re already crazy busy, a colleague needs to lean on you. Let him, especially if he’s tall, dark and handsome. Be grateful all month long for the important things in life – champagne, lip gloss, pedicures, massages – what would we do without them? The 14th and 23rd are lucky.

Aquarius (January 21-February 19): Take a retro approach to financial management and save, save, save. Get with your French press and brown-bag it three days a week, and you will accrue extra dollars. If you are having a rocky road at work, document everything. If you later need to defend yourself or point out that a treacherous nincompoop “borrowed” your idea, you’ll be glad you have a written record of your efforts. Also, keep communication open with your boss, always being positive and to the point. Re: romance, sexy is as sexy does on the 12th.

Pisces (February 20-March 20): The holidays are around the corner. Does that mean shopping for everyone on your list, cooking for 20 and making small talk with deadly dull relatives? Hell no, it means shopping for a new LBD, a bubble bath before dinner cooked by someone else and going to the movies. To make that happen, get some help from a personal shopper, chef or sitter – whatever it takes for you to feel like a pampered femme fatale. At work, do your homework, then dare to solve a problem with an unconventional approach. [Read more…]

Honey, your October noir horoscope is here

Actress Carole Lombard died in a plane crash in 1942. She was 33.

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your October is full of frighteningly good times. And happy birthday, Libra and Scorpio! A special shout-out and remembrances to A-list Libras Clive Owen (Oct. 3), Kate Winslet (Oct. 5), Carole Lombard (Oct. 6), Rachel McAdams (Oct. 7), Elmore Leonard (Oct. 11), Rita Hayworth (Oct. 17), Viggo Mortensen (Oct. 20), Catherine Deneuve (Oct. 22) and mighty Scorpios Julia Roberts (Oct. 28) and Truman Capote and Louis Malle (both Oct. 30).

Libra (September 24-October 23): You will gain strength and confidence, making you even more irresistible than usual. Be ready for heady romance midmonth and perhaps some terrific birthday surprises. If your b’day has passed and you acquired some good loot, try going back in time and writing a letter, you know, a penned missive that you drop in the post. Make decadence a priority at least once a week.

Scorpio (October 24-November 22): An investment pays off in a surprising way, which is especially lovely if you happen to be celebrating your birthday. It’s good to be a material girl, no? The world of money and finance can be navigated, just stick with it, even if it’s not your cup of tea. A friend may approach with an idea for a shared adventure or a great Halloween costume. Prepare for excitement! On the work front, be daring, especially on 8th – you may be on the cusp of a major innovation.

Sagittarius (November 23-December 22): “The ones that say they don’t want anything always get more in the end,” says Ann Newton, the little girl in “Shadow of a Doubt” from 1943. In 2012, though, that’s rarely the case. More often than not, if you don’t speak up, you won’t get. So be vocal and, at work, have a good case for why you deserve what you’re asking for. On the romantic front, let yourself be wicked – as often as possible!

Clive Owen turns 48 on Oct. 3. Another round on me. Marc Horn photo.

Capricorn (December 23-January 20): Though it is your nature to give freely, remember that not everyone is wired that way so if an offer comes your way midmonth, be sure to examine whether there are strings attached that might not be apparent at first glance. On the 21st, surrender to pleasure. And on the 31st, calories don’t count, so grab yourself a goody bag or 12 and dig in. Diets be damned!

Aquarius (January 21-February 19): A fiendish impulse overtakes you on the 6th. By all means, follow it! Then, in honor of Halloween, invite a few of your friends over so you can lead them astray. Pour some Chianti, watch “The Silence of the Lambs” and gorge on candy. At work, remember that overnight sensations are few and far between. More often, major success is the result of patience and perseverance. Whatever you do, don’t give up! The 12th and 21st will be lucky days.

Pisces (February 20-March 20): A bothersome situation calls for decisive action. Brandish a big old kitchen knife, boss anyone who gets in your way and feel the power! You’re good at being in charge, it’s a gift that should be cherished, not hidden. Then get your aggressions out on a hapless pumpkin. You may hit a rough patch with someone in your inner circle, perhaps a lover or Sig Oth. Don’t rush through this or look for a quick fix – it will, in the end, bring you closer. Definitely choose trick if given a choice.

Matt Damon turns 42 this year. His birthday is Oct. 8.

Aries (March 21-April 20): “I lied. I felt like lying so I did,” says Joan Crawford (an Aries) ever so nonchalantly in “Possessed” from 1947. What harm can a few little white ones do? You can always reform on Nov. 1. And of course always, no matter what the date, do only what you feel like doing. If by some strange chance, you are afflicted with notions of goodness, kindness or altruism, rest assured that a long overdue visit with a close friend and fellow femme fatale will ground you right where you belong – on the deliciously dark side.

Taurus (April 21-May 21): As Halloween approaches, Destiny is on your doorstep. There’s really not much you can do, so why fight it? Instead, invite Fate in, mix some martinis, try to make small talk. True, you may be screwed but if that’s the case, there are bound to be some fun fireworks first. And more than likely Fate has bigger and better plans for you – like a slew of good luck and winning the lottery. You should probably start packing for the south of France as soon as you finish your yummy cocktail. The weekend of the 12th may be memorably romantic.

Gemini (May 22-June 21): “I don’t play monsters. I play men besieged by fate and out for revenge,” said the inimitable Vincent Price (May 27, 1911 – Oct. 25, 1993). As you ponder whether is revenge really worth it, you may come to the considered conclusion, “Hell, yes!” Of course, there is something to be said for that living well theory, especially if it involves an elegant dinner or perhaps a shopping binge. Your calendar suddenly fills up very quickly so trust that you will have somewhere to wear that new LBD.

Ryan Reynolds (newly married to Blake Lively) will be 36 on Oct. 23.

Cancer (June 22-July 23): Having trouble choosing a costume? Choose the one that’s most daring and shows off your best features. Then find ways to wear it more than once and why rule out the gym, yoga studio or grocery store? People take life entirely too seriously. Make it your goal to mix it up this month and vary your routine, especially when it comes to your love life. Your curiosity and sensitivity serve you well on the 18th but remember to weigh options carefully.

Leo (July 24-August 23): You may encounter sudden resistance or abrupt withdrawal from a contributor to a project. Frankly, it’s rather shocking for you. So, you fret: Did I say the wrong thing? Was page 47 of my report slightly creased? Was it wrong to wear fish-nets and thigh-high boots to our last meeting? No, no and no! Unless of course the fish-nets were drafty and you caught a chill. Don’t overthink this or take it personally. The project will go on and may even improve as a result of this development. And good God, if all that stress doesn’t justify a little romantic fling, I don’t know what does.

Virgo (August 24-September 23): Feeling overwhelmed? Well, no one ever said that treachery, entrapment and general bad-girlness wasn’t a major time-suck. Hair and makeup alone consume precious slots in your schedule. Make a master list of everything you’d like to accomplish, prioritize, set deadlines and don’t look back! If you can’t get to everything or have to knock a few items off the list, don’t feel guilty. Better to complete a few really flawless seductions than to fritter your energy away on endless flirtations. But rest assured you will be irresistible when you decide to turn on the charm. On the 7th, there may be extra cash in your pocket.

Honey, your August noir horoscope is here …

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your August is full of spicy mystery and sultry sideways glances. And happy birthday, Leo and Virgo! A special shout-out and remembrances to legendary Leos John Huston (Aug. 5), Lucille Ball and Robert Mitchum (both Aug. 6), Alfred Hitchcock (Aug. 13), Alma Hitchcock (Aug. 14), Ann Blyth (Aug. 16), Robert DeNiro and Sean Penn (both Aug. 17), Coco Chanel Aug. 19, and one-of-a-kind Virgos Elliott Gould and Ingrid Bergman (both Aug. 29).

Lucille Ball: Aug. 6, 1911 – April 26, 1989

Leo (July 24-August 23): In anticipation of your birthday – perhaps a milestone – you’ve been assessing, analyzing and reflecting. Now it’s time to just be. Oh, and open presents, eat cake and drink champagne. If you’re worried about getting older, reinvest that energy into something productive. As the comedy genius Lucille Ball put it: “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age.” Toward the end of the month, you’ll gain clarity about your career direction.

Virgo (August 24-September 23): There are certain inalienable rights of the femme fatale: sleeping in, owning too much lip gloss and refusing to diet. Stand your ground if someone in your inner circle disagrees with your stance on these issues. Besides, with your knack for diplomacy and tact, you’ll soon be preaching to the converted. Meanwhile, prepare to pace yourself as birthday-party invites pop up. You’ll be much in demand. Make time to savor summer pleasures – as a result, romance may find you. Choose your battles on the 25th.

Libra (September 24-October 23): You may feel that you’re butting your head against the wall on the career front as a project drags on or a job-search seems to stall. “Why isn’t Easy Street showing up on my GPS?” you ask. Here’s why: Things usually come to you so effortlessly that it’s a bit of a shock to realize you may need to hunker down and persevere to attain your goal. Horrid-sounding, I know. Don’t fret, though, it won’t come to the point of actually getting your hands dirty and chipping your nail polish. Just go with the flow. And, as a happy distraction, your love life heats up, especially midmonth.

Robert Mitchum: Aug. 6, 1917 – July 1, 1997

Scorpio (October 24-November 22): A chance meeting spurs you to take action on an important issue. (Of course, in noir, is anything really left to chance?) You will make the best choice possible. Your flair for stylish living comes in handy when a friend has wonderful news to celebrate – perhaps an old-school Hollywood soirée is in order? Even more than usual, you will be admired and adored on the weekend of the 20th. Make a point of managing expectations at work.

Sagittarius (November 23-December 22): According to Vogue’s Book of Etiquette, 1948, “It has been estimated that young girls, no matter how seriously they have been working, spend at least half their free time thinking about men. And how right they are! A job may not last a lifetime, but it is always to be hoped that a marriage will. What could be more important or more worthy of the deepest concentration?” So, go on, give in to romance and dwell on passion this month. Obsess all you want to about the object of your affection. Live in the moment and don’t give a hoot about the future or the past.

Capricorn (December 23-January 20): You’ve had a lot on your mind this summer but difficulties and worries will start to dissolve around the 12th. This means you can cut yourself some slack; enjoy a few lazy days and languid nights. You can also focus on key priorities like looking good and letting yourself be admired. Meanwhile, helping a friend with a communications project brings welcome attention your way. Don’t do anything you don’t feel like doing on the 2nd, 7th, 11th, 14th, 17th, 20th, 21st … you get the idea.

Robert De Niro was born Aug. 17, 1943.

Aquarius (January 21-February 19): Calculating risks and then taking them are the first order of business this month. Could be something little, like revealing a detail of your past to a new friend or love interest. Or it could be something major, like planning a move to a new locale where no one knows your alias and your mugshot isn’t on file. Either way, change is good. Around the 12th, you may feel that you’re looking for a needle in a haystack. If so, get the hell out of the hay field, head for the city and get yourself a cocktail, pronto!

Pisces (February 20-March 20): You may be running hot and cold about a person in your life or a place where you spend a lot of time. To gain fresh perspective, make a getaway and spend some time alone: an extra-long massage, a day at a spa or a weekend retreat on bewitchment. We all need time to ponder, and more importantly primp, in solitude. You may get some exciting news on the work front and be asked to share your novel approach. A little mayhem isn’t a bad thing on the 13th – in fact it might help clear the air.

Aries (March 21-April 20): An intriguing mystery comes your way around the 14th. It may speak to your inner private detective but would searching for clues entail getting off the sofa or cutting down on the time you spend on catnaps? In other words, before you devote a ton of energy to a potential time-suck, assess what’s in it for you and whether it’s really worth your time. If you’re not into it, don’t feel guilty about turning down the job. Enjoy the power of saying no; it’s more than a little addictive. Your love life really heats up around the 8th and again at month’s end. Enjoy the power of saying yes; it’s more than a little amusing.

Ingrid Bergman: Aug. 29, 1915 – Aug. 30, 1982

Taurus (April 21-May 21): Polishing your résumé is always a good idea; you never know when the perfect job may pop up. Meanwhile, about that yearning to be your own boss: draft a business plan, even if it’s highly preliminary. Then devote a few hours each week to researching sources of funding. It may be a long journey but at least you’ve taken the first step. On the 8th, recognizing the absurdity of an ongoing situation brings fresh insight. Midmonth, some shameless flirting leads to a delicious little adventure.

Gemini (May 22-June 21): A request from a client or colleague that at first seems a chore in fact reveals one of your hidden talents. When you enjoy something, you rock results. Meanwhile, realize that while you are often quite content as a self-contained little island, it’s probably a good idea to reaching out to others and be the initiator on the social front. You live to be inquisitive, after all, so this will ensure you have plenty of people to pepper with questions. Let loose on the 6th and set the tone for the whole month. Shrug off self-doubt on the work front.

Cancer (June 22-July 23): Attention to detail. Striving for quality. Patience. Having an old-school attitude toward your work may sometimes make you feel like you’re going against the grain in an age where many people don’t seem to be able to read an entire text message. So what? The grain is highly overrated and your commitment to producing fine, thoughtful work will serve you well in the long run. Around midmonth, your Sig Oth may be getting on your nerves just a tad – perhaps he forgot to cut the crust off your sandwich or overbuttered your toast? Let it slide. It may take him a lifetime to learn how to wait on you properly.

Honey, your July noir horoscope is here …

Leigh: July 6, 1927-Oct. 3, 2004

Stanwyck: July 16, 1907-Jan. 20, 1990

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your July is full of intriguing encounters and a festive Friday, the 13th. And happy birthday, Cancer and Leo!

A special shout-out and remembrances to captivating Cancers James M. Cain and Farley Granger (July 1), Eva Marie Saint (July 4), Janet Leigh (July 6) and Barbara Stanwyck (July 16), and lively Leos Helen Mirren, Sandra Bullock and Stanley Kubrick (July 26), Jackie Kennedy Onassis (July 28) and Hilary Swank (July 30).

Cancer (June 22-July 23): Cancers can be a trifle moody, it’s true. But with celebrations and soirees on the rise this month, mood shifts will likely be from good to ecstatic. This means it will be easier to roll with the punches and let go of elaborate expectations. Midmonth, you could stumble into a chance to score some easy cash and without packing heat! OK, it’s not enough to quit your day job and take early retirement but it might be enough to buy dinner and a round of drinks for you and an enchantingly sexy dinner companion.

Robert De Niro was born Aug. 17, 1943. He shares a birthday with Sean Penn, who was born in 1960.

Leo (July 24-August 23): Resist the urge to put things on your own timetable. Both at work and at play, deals and relationships evolve at their own pace, which may yield surprise benefits. So, just relax and trust that things will work out fine, maybe even better than you expected. Meanwhile, give in to cravings and don’t feel guilty about splurging on an expensive birthday gift for yourself. Relish summer pleasures as spontaneity and romance reign. Follow your intuition on the 6th, 15th and 24th.

Virgo (August 24-September 23): A friend or relative launches a monthlong complain-a-thon, but damn if you didn’t forget which channel it’s on. Oh well, guess you’ll just miss all the woe-is-me excitement. Don’t feel guilty about cutting back the time you spend with closet negheads – you know the ones. Just politely decline when they try to lure you in. Meanwhile, take a spontaneous road trip or wear that daring dress you bought. Summer is the perfect time to mix it up and turn a few heads. Be prepared for lots of attention from the opposite sex the week of the 14th.

Libra (September 24-October 23): Change is in the air and that’s a good thing. Having made a major decision, you are now on the path to new opportunities and an exciting phase of your life. If you encounter any snags, realize that bumps in the road are inevitable and keep on going. Ask for help if you need it – from time to time, even the craftiest femme fatale needs help hauling loot or bouncing ideas around. Even though you’re busy, make time to reward yourself with your favorite guilty pleasures. Patience prevails on the 12th; stand your ground on the 16th.

Lizabeth Scott, an actress with many film-noir credits, was born Sept. 29, 1922; she turns 90 this year.

Scorpio (October 24-November 22): Absence does indeed make the heart grow fonder so tap your inner ice-princess and don’t always be available for that tall, dark and handsome guy. Unless of course he’s tall, dark, handsome and filthy rich. In that case, you can be available at a moment’s notice, especially if he likes to go shopping and insists on taking you to fabulous restaurants. This month, the less you think about cash, the easier it will flow. Don’t sweat the details on the weekend of the 27th.

Sagittarius (November 23-December 22): It’s tempting to tell a dithering friend what to do – take the money and run, for example. However, you may need to devote your energy to making a big decision in your own life. We often regret the things we don’t do more than anything else, but the bottom line is that only you know what’s best – listen to your head and your heart, then stick to your guns (or weapon of choice). Your imagination and prowess for problem solving come into the spotlight as you easily piece together the pieces to a puzzle at work. A sexy surprise awaits you on the 31st.

Capricorn (December 23-January 20): Is there a downside to dating younger men? Well, let’s see, compared with old dudes, they have more energy, nicer attitudes, crisper jokes, less baggage and sweeter dispositions. Oh, and way better (paunch-free) bodies. Nope, no downside there. Go on, enjoy your boy! Meanwhile, work projects proliferate, with one door after another opening and offering fulfillment. Your unique skills are in demand and clients are easy to please. A prediction you made several months ago comes true on the 10th.

Ida Lupino: Feb. 4, 1918-Aug. 3, 1995

Aquarius (January 21-February 19): “Darling, we have a three-day schedule. There’s no time to do anything but to do it.” So said Ida Lupino (Feb. 4, 1918-Aug. 3, 1995) to a Method actor. With typical Aquarian vision and verve, Lupino broke new ground in Golden Age Hollywood by working as an actress, writer, director and producer. Tap her can-do attitude this month when productivity and adhering to deadlines is key. Meanwhile, let yourself be playful in relationships. Glam up for the hell of it on Saturday nights. Life’s too short not to break out the Loubou’s once a week!

Pisces (February 20-March 20): Your independent streak surfaces even more than usual this month. It’s a wonderful quality and key to your success but find time to socialize – it will refuel your energy. As your love life picks up, your days and especially your nights will be downright magical. Relish the attention and have fun being a vamp; don’t rush into any serious conversations. Be sure to look the part of a seductress – sky-high heels perhaps? On a business matter, ask as many questions as you need to around the 19th.

Aries (March 21-April 20): Drama is divine, but tends to be best in small doses. If you’re a bit bored in a relationship, remember that an even keel is usually better than fireworks and fights, which tend to be more exhausting than exhilarating after a while. Enjoy the peace! On the other hand, if you’re the placid one and Man du Jour has a need to create drama just to feel normal, evaluate whether you want that in the long term. Meanwhile, your talents are recognized at work and your expertise is much in demand. Your strength and inner calm averts a crisis on the 25th.

Pam Grier was born May 26, 1949.

Taurus (April 21-May 21): Eager to start a new career chapter? Network like crazy, but remember that sophisticated networking is about connecting and contributing, not just calling in favors or asking for leads. In Vogue’s Book of Etiquette, 1948, you’ll find this handy advice: “If asked why one left a previous job, frankness is the best unless an explanation would involve a loss of proper reticence; for example, “I enjoyed the work, but I wanted a better job,” but not, “I had to leave because I wanted to go west to get a divorce.” Hmm, somehow, “Go west, get a divorce” strikes me an ideal title for a little tome on wicked women and complicated romance.

Gemini (May 22-June 21): You’ll experience a feeling of freedom and joy this month, perhaps just from feeling grateful for the little things like fire-engine red nail polish, fish-net stockings and full-fat ice cream. And be extra thankful for your beautiful, one-of-a-kind body – it was designed to be loved and cherished! Respond to what the moment requires and creativity will flow. Practice saying: “Lie down with your hands up.” This may serve you well since you’ll be spending more time in the yoga studio or gym. On the 18th, make sure your man knows you’re crazy about him.

Honey, your May noir horoscope is here …

George Clooney

Clint Eastwood

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your May is full of sunny days and sexy nights. And happy birthday, Taurus and Gemini! A special shout-out and remembrances to Taurus icons George Clooney (May 6), David O. Selznick (May 10), Harvey Keitel (May 13), Cate Blanchett (May 14), Joseph Cotten (May 15), Debra Winger and Megan Fox (May 16), and James Stewart (May 20). Gemini charmers we love include Pam Grier (May 26), Annette Bening (May 29) and Clint Eastwood (May 31).

Taurus (April 21-May 21): This spring looks busy so don’t be surprised if you are the toast of the town. Make the most of it! Take forever to get ready and gaze in the mirror with utter fondess. Let others buy you champagne. As you socialize, you may meet the perfect person for your next heist or groundbreaking project. Indeed, flexibility and openmindedness will be key this month. You may also be at the end of a chapter in your life, which is good news all around. Be open to change (it is inevitable after all); your creativity and prosperity will flow. The 12th is a divine time for a little dare, especially in the romantic arena.

Marilyn Monroe (June 1, 1926 - Aug. 5, 1962)

Gemini (May 22-June 21): Having just completed a transformative peroid in your life, allow time to relish the achievement, hell, wallow in it for weeks, if you can. And with a birthday nearby, you have multiple reasons for celebrations and much to feel grateful for. If, in all the excitement, something slips your mind, don’t be too hard on yourself. It is very probably not the end of the world, unless you forgot to load your gun or fill the getaway car with gas. If you’ve planned a vaca or b’day getaway, do not take work with you. That defeats the whole purpose and you will return feeling drained instead of refreshed. Remember to say what you mean and mean what you say, especially around the 6th and 7th.

Natalie Wood (July 20, 1938 - Nov. 29, 1981)

Cancer (June 22-July 23): “At the time I wasn’t aware of the things I missed, so why should I think of them in retrospect? Everybody misses something or other,” said Natalie Wood, on being a child actor. Let your easy-breezy, typically philosophical Cancer nature guide you this month as you live in the moment and enjoy simple pleasures. You may be at a romantic impasse; if so, divert your energy and help a friend with a project – perhaps a chum needs assistance in crafting a scheme. With little effort, new and exciting work opportunities seem to fall in your lap. Around the 24th let go of a long-held expectation and make room for fresh joy.

Leo (July 24-August 23): You may be on the fence about attending an event or going to an appointment or interview because it will require a fair amount of energy on your part to make it. While additional effort for a femme fatale is usually best spent on the important things – false-eyelash application, fake tans and finding the perfect cocktail ring – in this case, it’s worth making an exception and going the extra mile. Thinking about a career change? Be practical, of course, but also consider whether the new line of work stirs your soul.

Jacqueline Bisset was born Sept. 13, 1944.

Virgo (August 24-September 23): Consider how you may sharpen your skills of judgment – not simply knee-jerk approvals or quick condemnations – but bringing calmness, clarity and resolve to your assessments. Then trust that you will forge ahead with intelligence, patience and your famous eye for detail. If, on the other hand, a decision about you is likely to be made, trust that the outcome will in some way lead you to the path you need to be on. Meanwhile, go out of your way to be nice to Man du Jour; you’ll both be glad you did. Be spontaneous around the 25th.

Libra (September 24-October 23): A person from your past claims to have made much progress in the areas of emotional maturity and spiritual growth. This is, of course, eminently possible. If you are curious and are still spending a lot of time pondering this person, it may be worth exploring your mutual feelings and examining old issues. (And need I remind you? Bright red lipstick is a must for a meetup.) But speaking of red, proceed with caution and pay attention to red flags. Then, whichever way you move forward, you will be clear and focused, not stuck in the past. An inspired idea of yours pays off at your workplace. Don’t let jealousy cloud your vision on the 16th.

Scorpio (October 24-November 22): It isn’t always easy to live the life of a daring femme fatale/leader of the pack. What with defying convention and bucking trends, and you may find yourself in need of new inspiration this month. Instead of struggling to find it; turn your brain off and rest. Or better yet, enjoy a change a scene with a last-minute trip. Fresh ideas will then find you as long as you relax and don’t try too hard. Just trust in your talent for brilliance, creativity and finding fall guys. As for amour, let your inner vixen be your guide. It’s springtime and, whether you’re in Paris or Peoria, it’s high time for romance. On the 30th, be extra gentle on yourself.

Frank Sinatra (Dec. 12, 1915 - May 14, 1998)

Sagittarius (November 23-December 22): May is the perfect time for a bit of spring cleaning, both literally and figuratively. Your elegant brain thrives in an orderly, clutter-free zone. As for your relationships, if attached, there may be some buried issues that need to be aired. Start on a positive note and avoid citing a comprehensive list of examples. You are trying to communicate, not build a case. If single, it may dawn on you that your slew of male friends may be keeping you single. Of course, you cherish the Marilyn Monroe/Frank Sinatra vibe you have with them, but hanging with them all the time might mean you are less likely to put yourself out there and seek serious romance.

Capricorn (December 23-January 20): While you possess an unusual balance of strength and sensitivity in your character, often the former defines your style of communication. In other words, you are full-on and fiery when it comes to speaking your mind. This is a wonderful trait but this month it may behoove you to try a slightly different approach. Experiment with the power of letting go. Let there be peaceful pauses when you chat with people; don’t feel the need to fill the conversation lulls. Allow your sensitivity to guide you and listen. You may be surprised at the enlightenment you gain. Your sense of humor spurs a friendship on the 25th.

Aquarius (January 21-February 19): “The modern tendency to accept, with no intention of returning, an invitation which sounds amusing, is a form of opportunism which, though practiced, is still very much criticized,” says Vogue’s Book of Etiquette, 1948. Not to worry. You’d be hard-pressed to find an Aquarian gal who isn’t terrific at throwing parties. Your hostess skills (planning, imagination, organization, charm) may be needed in a new context this month; perhaps a red-carpet event that needs to be pulled together at the last minute. Just throw on some teetering ankle straps and a dazzling choker, and you’ll have it under control in no time. Say no to others to say yes to yourself the week of the 14th.

Spike Lee was born March 20, 1957.

Pisces (February 20-March 20): Subtle and skilled communicator that you are, you will find the ideal solution to a sticky problem. Hint: It may be that a more-the-merrier approach trumps exclusivity when it comes to a trip or gathering this month. At work, however, the opposite may hold true and decision-making by committee will impede progress, so step up and call it as you see it. On the romantic front, you have issued a meeting request to the Universe so sit back and relax or better yet get up and go shopping while scheduling details are being finalized. You will just happen to look magnificent this month so don’t forget to flirt. Your way is the best way on the 14th – but isn’t that the case most every day?

Aries (March 21-April 20): Your life will be touched by decadent delight and a few sinful surprises (calories be damned!) this month. Appreciate it and have fun. At the same time, make sure you take a moment to look at the bigger picture and see an opportunity that beckons on the horizon. To be open to it, be in the moment and don’t listen to any fearful or negative internal chatter. Abandon old worries and don’t waste mental energy on second-guessing yourself. Oh and btw, romance awaits you, so make sure you have that smoldering gaze and sexy smile down.

Honey, your April noir horoscope is here …

Peck: April 5, 1916-June 12, 2003

Nicholson was born April 22, 1937.

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your April is full of sunny days, sparkling jewelry and sensual delights. And happy birthday, Aries and Taurus! A special shout-out to amazing Ariens Bette Davis, Spencer Tracy and Gregory Peck (April 5), Francis Ford Coppola and Russell Crowe (April 7), Julie Christie (April 14), Maria Bello (April 18) and Taurus mega stars Jack Nicholson (April 22), Al Pacino (April 25) and Penelope Cruz (April 28).

Aries (March 21-April 20): Let nothing stand in your way this month! Yes, there may be setbacks but that will make your ultimate success so much sweeter. If in doubt, consider this quotation from Aries legend Bette Davis (April 5, 1908-Oct. 6, 1989): “Acting should be bigger than life. Scripts should be bigger than life. It should ALL be bigger than life.” Jump in and make it happen. As for your love life, forget the past and focus on fun. If single, channel your femme fatale to turn on the allure. If attached, allow your man to indulge you – any Aries worth her salt enjoys a little (OK, a lot of) worship.

Taurean Bettie Page is the subject of a new documentary.

Taurus (April 21-May 21): Embrace your unique insight and abilities this month, and avoid any tendency to compare yourself to others. As iconic pinup model Bettie Page (April 22, 1923 – Dec. 11, 2008) reflected: “I was not trying to be shocking, or to be a pioneer. I wasn’t trying to change society, or to be ahead of my time. I didn’t think of myself as liberated, and I don’t believe that I did anything important. I was just myself. I didn’t know any other way to be, or any other way to live.” (A documentary called “Bettie Page Reveals All” releases this month in Vegas.) Around the 19th, your success on a project calls for a stylish celebration, in addition to any b’day festivities in the works.

Gemini (May 22-June 21): If something irks you midmonth, go on, get riled up. Anger in small doses is not a bad thing. Remember though, anger is a secondary emotion – it stems from hurt or fear. So be sure to examine and assess the root of your feeling. With a new work project, you may feel that you are cast against type, but don’t let that drain your confidence. You can rock any role that comes your way and get rave reviews. On the romantic front, let instinct and intuition guide you, especially on the 21st.

Cancer (June 22-July 23): You’ve been a supportive friend and a good listener for someone who keeps falling into the same futile pattern. To put it bluntly, this story is worn out. Time to speak your mind, choosing your words carefully, of course. Don’t overthink things with your Man du Jour – after all, what’s sexier than a relaxed, confident vibe? If you sense that a rival is attempting to undermine you around the 12th realize that she/he is likely threatened by your prowess and verve.

John Cusack was born in Evanston, Ill., on June 28, 1966.

Leo (July 24-August 23): Being in the right place at the right time is key to productive communication this month and you’ll find that, without too much effort, you are making valuable connections. You know, like when that sweet security guard at the bank gave you his access code. A chance to collaborate on a creative venture means that you may have to surrender some control to another’s vision. This requires trust, humility and flexibility. Are you game? You’ll be admired (yes, yet again) on the 7th, 19th and 29th.

Virgo (August 24-September 23): Dreamers and dandies and their pie-in-the-sky plans leave you feeling exasperated. Grounded, practical Virgo wants details, fleshed out facts and a thought-out gameplan. Better to divert your energy to projects that are attuned to your bottom-line way of working. Meanwhile, extra, uh, demands in your love life spur you to look your best – one more yoga class, skipping dessert, a facial and massage. One thing leads to another in more ways than one. Flirt like crazy on the 6th. And any other day you feel like it.

Libra (September 24-October 23): Enough! If you’re up to your eyeballs in someone else’s drama, it’s time to save yourself. Instead of commiserating, put the problem back on the drama king or queen. Besides, you’ll have your hands full with your own noir narrative – midmonth, you may have a seduction to engineer or a clever plot to weave. Let logic take a backseat to imagination and you’ll be surprised at what you accomplish. A day of full-on frivolity is in order on the 21st.

Scorpio (October 24-November 22): Every once in a while, Scorpio’s intensity gets a tad over-the-top. So, this month, make a point of living in the moment and living that moment up! Be spontaneous and don’t waste time on guilt. On the romantic front, if single, throw out your checklist – you might see sparks fly with someone who seems incompatible on the surface. If attached, throw out expectations. As usual, relish your talent for making the first move. Magic awaits you around the 14th.

Actress, director and writer Julie Delpy exemplifies Sag charm. She was born in Paris on Dec. 21, 1969.

Sagittarius (November 23-December 22): Recently, you may have noticed that your love life seems off-balance – for example, the guy you have fun with isn’t the one you want to kiss. Or, if you’re in a LTR, scheduling conflicts may be prevailing over romance of late. Relish your power, take charge and be the aggressor. Oh, again? Fret not, you’ll be glad you did. In other realms, resist any temptation to take a cheap shot with an ex or former associate who frankly is just not worthy of your time or energy. You’re better off doing something meaningful like getting your hair blown out.

Capricorn (December 23-January 20): Remember that while generosity is gorgeous, giving too much to an ingrate can be disastrous. As a bad girl, you’re supposed to be the taker, right? Boundaries, though sometimes hard to set, can be mighty important in terms of improving relationships. Your amazing ability to make the most of every day, even in the face of a disappointment, inspires those around you. You may uncover an extra source of income; the 16th is a good day to take a little chance.

Aquarius (January 21-February 19): “Flowers, candy, and current books … are the classic gifts which a woman may accept from a man without hesitation,” explains Vogue’s Book of Etiquette, 1948. But honestly what self-respecting seductress would turn down a big old sparkly rock? Never stand on ceremony if there’s more than half a carat involved. And be sure to celebrate spring with fresh, fun color – Chanel’s Coco Blue nail polish, perhaps? By the end of the month, an old contact may be in touch with an interesting proposition.

Pisces (February 20-March 20): It might be high time for a spring shopping spree. But before you whip out your wallet, consider the singular beauty of a big fat bank balance; it is a sight to behold. Perhaps you could get by on last year’s haul or restrict yourself to one frugal purchase. A change of scene midmonth gives you much-needed perspective and may help you make a major decision. Be bold with your man the week of the 18th. Come to think of it, why wait till then?

Honey, your March noir horoscope is here …

Sharon Stone

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your March is full of sexy lions, luscious lambs and lusty Irishmen. And happy birthday, Pisces and Aries! A special shout-out to Pisces lookers Javier Bardem (March 1), Daniel Craig (March 2), Jean Harlow (March 3), Rachel Weisz (March 7), Sharon Stone (March 10), Glenn Close and Bruce Willis (both March 19), Spike Lee (March 20) and Aries A-listers Reese Witherspoon (March 22), Joan Crawford (March 23) and Keira Knightley (March 26).

Jean Harlow (March 3, 1911 - June 7, 1937)

Pisces (February 20-March 20): The original platinum blonde Jean Harlow called things as she saw them, even about herself. As she put it: “I was not a born actress. No one knows it better than I. If I had any latent talent, I have had to work hard, listen carefully, do things over and over and then over again in order to bring it out.” Following in this famed Pisces’ footsteps, you will experience uncommon clarity in all areas of your life this month. It is an excellent time to make a major decision. Midmonth, help a pal see the humor in a challenging situation.

Aries (March 21-April 20): The Chinese say a happy person needs no reason to be happy. And if you are celebrating your birthday, you have extra cause for joy! If you have a romantic setback (a spat, perhaps, or trouble finding someone you actually want to date), don’t be glum. Just think of it as paving the way for a) a deeper bond with your lovah or b) finally meeting someone great. The point is to be open to life’s gifts, from Saks, Neiman Marcus, Henri Bendel or even from the little old universe. Meanwhile, you may be surprised when a work trip takes on an ample element of pleasure.

Taurus (April 21-May 21): Is there anything more important than looking glamorous? Well, maybe world peace and curing cancer but no matter how many worthy causes we support it’s just as important to nourish the soul with beauty. And if you find beauty in jewelry, cash, clothes and shoes, then so be it. Keep in mind that in addition to your accomplishments, you will be remembered for how well you treat people so give the benefit of the doubt, tip generously and be the first to smile. The 8th is an ideal time to take a small risk.

Gemini (May 22-June 21): Be ready to take charge this month, especially if you are embarking on an exciting adventure, such as a trip abroad. At the same time, try to approach things as a child would – you will learn more and feel more this way. Remember, nothing is written. It is up to you to guide the pen and draft the future. If, however, you are facing a deadline and nothing is written, best to get scribbling!  Fake it till you make it on the 25th.

Perhaps the greatest noir writer of all: Chicago-born Raymond Chandler (July 23, 1888 - March 26, 1959)

Cancer (June 22-July 23): You have an innate ability to appreciate nuance; be patient with those who aren’t so blessed. Let sass and sarcasm flow on the 6th, 17th, 30th and 31st (like that will be hard). A seemingly trivial conversation with a stranger midmonth may have deep significance. On the romantic front, things sizzle, then take a serious turn. Also, find a few days to enjoy the art of doing nothing. It’s quite lovely.

Leo (July 24-August 23): A friend who typically favors older guys may need prodding to be open to the joys of younger men and, as an accomplished cougar, you may need to lead by example. Aaah, the sacrifices we make for friends. At work, you might find yourself swooping in to save your boss this month. Though he or she may appreciate this, don’t make a habit of saving every day unless you get a nice dollop of recognition or, better yet, a roll of cold, hard cash! Never say never on the 17th.

Virgo (August 24-September 23): Va-va voom hair for no particular reason? A sip of champagne just because? Silly question. You don’t need a special occasion to indulge yourself. Besides, you may need a little distraction as you await the outcome of a decision; trust that it will work out for the best. If planning a St. Patty’s Day party, don’t stress. Remember, an Irish seven-course meal is easy to prepare. Who couldn’t rustle up a six-pack and a potato? Be the bigger person the weekend of the 24th.

Libra (September 24-October 23): You may be privy to confidential information this month and be tempted to share it. Think carefully, though, before repeating. Once the cat’s out of the bag, it will be demanding food and asking where the litter box is. At work, your unique combination of creativity, sensitivity and diplomacy wins you extra attention. Make time to appreciate pleasures, whether simple or wildly extravagant. Actually, probably best to go for the latter. Killer heels are just the ticket on the weekend of the 18th.

Actress and inventor Hedy Lamarr (Nov. 9, 1913-Jan. 19, 2000)

Scorpio (October 24-November 22): Don’t settle for second best in your love life. Remember that real men don’t love a million different women, they love one woman a million different ways. (It’s another story for women, of course, but it’s still a nice sentiment.) Trying to kick a bad habit? Realize that it may be one of the most difficult things you ever do. If it happens to be smoking, when you feel the urge to light up, aside from the health issues, know that with each puff, you are making a bunch of rich, old, fat white guys fatter and richer on your dime. Indulge your wild side on the 21st.

Sagittarius (November 23-December 22): A new development at work may not be to your liking. If speaking now or forever holding your peace are not appealing options, dust off your resume and start to circulate. But don’t think of it as job hunting. Think of it as personal research. True, you may find that there is nothing out there, in which case you will likely find fresh gratitude and appreciation for what you have. On the other hand, knowledge is power and you might uncover a new opportunity that’s just right for your high standards and stellar talent. Flirt like crazy on the 3rd, 9th, 19th and 25th. Oh, and then maybe a bit more on the 28th and 31st.

Archibald Leach a.k.a. Cary Grant (Jan. 18, 1904 - Nov. 29, 1986)

Capricorn (December 23-January 20): “Adroit hosts will draw the best out of each guest, and present him in the best and most interesting light to others,” says Vogue’s Book of Etiquette, 1948, in a chapter on entertaining. Apt advice whether you are throwing a dinner party, running a department or playing matchmaker. And let’s face it, Caps get called on to do all those things and more, so mighty are their powers of planning and organization. Around the 10th, you may make a leap of faith in your love life.

Aquarius (January 21-February 19): Your knack for solving thorny problems comes in handy with a client or colleague the week of the 5th. Make a point of praising those who work for you and, while you’re at it, a dear friend could use a compliment (hell, make it a gush-fest) as well. Find a fun way to surprise your man – have you ever sent him flowers or left a little gift on his pillow? If you don’t have a Man Du Jour, put yourself out there consistently; nothing ventured, nothing gained. Enjoy your ingénue moment on the 24th.

Honey, your February noir horoscope is here …

Clark Gable

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your February is full of luscious roses and flashy rocks. And happy birthday, Aquarius and Pisces!

A special shout-out to Aquarians Clark Gable and John Ford (both Feb. 1), Lana Turner (Feb. 8), Jennifer Aniston (Feb. 11), Kim Novak (Feb. 13) and Pisces women Drew Barrymore (Feb. 22), Joan Bennett and Elizabeth Taylor (Feb. 27).

Lana Turner

Aquarius (January 21-February 19): As you mark your birthday or extend the celebration, remember to be patient with people who (yawn!) lack your vision and courage. Be creative, solve problems, then go with the flow while the rest of the world catches up with you. If you’ve just begun dating someone, you needn’t be available 24/7 but do make time to hang out. It’s surprising how both sides can lose interest if too many days go by without reconnecting. In a relationship? Take the lead this Valentine’s Day and make it a Monday to remember.

Pisces (February 20-March 20): This month is all about celebrating the youness of you, especially if it’s your birthday. There is a project that calls for your expertise and you are well placed to provide direction. Lovely! But do not get roped into executing the nitty-gritty tactics, just because someone asks you nicely. On the social front, keep in mind the old saying: If you can’t be good, don’t get caught. You may need Excel to track your suitors as Valentine’s Day approaches. If you’re in an exclusive relationship, a long romantic weekend may be in the cards. Pay special attention to details on the weekend of the 18th. [Read more…]

Happy New Year, y’all! Your January horoscope is here

Nicolas Cage

Tippi Hedren

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your January is full of realistic resolutions, staggering (as in 75% off) sales and sexy snow men. And happy birthday, Capricorn and Aquarius! A special shout-out to Caps Nicolas Cage (Jan. 7), Faye Dunaway and Larry Kasdan (both Jan. 14), Kate Moss (Jan. 16), Tippi Hedren (Jan. 19), Diane Lane (Jan. 22), Heather Graham (Jan. 29) and, sharing Jan. 30, Christian Bale and Gene Hackman.

Capricorn (December 23-January 20): Aah, the newness of 2012! Clean slates and fresh joy await you this month. It’s also a great time for a new look so open your closet and unleash your formidable organizational power. Edit away, then take advantage of the sales. While shopping, be open to taking risks. A bold yellow or green or orange can be a great neutral. Work heats up but you are more than up to any extra challenges. Don’t rush romance, better to let it simmer than boil over too quickly. Follow your intuition on the 14th.

Aquarius (January 21-February 19): It’s your birthday – what better reason to celebrate? Your January social calendar will be packed. Enjoy being showered with love and affection this month. All the attention might inspire you to engineer a fun surprise for a pal who needs a pick-me-up (and alas has tried online dating). You will have much to juggle so plan ahead and make the extra effort to attain balance. Ain’t nothing wrong with some downtime, don’t forget. What first appears to be a casual get-together toward the end of the month may in fact be a date with destiny. [Read more…]

Honey, your December horoscope is here …

Julie Delpy

Marianne Faithfull

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your December is full of expensive champagne, exquisite gifts and elegant entrances to parties. And happy birthday, Sagittarius and Capricorn! A special shout-out to Sag stars Julianne Moore (Dec. 3), Kim Basinger (Dec. 8), Julie Delpy (Dec. 21) and Vanessa Paradis (Dec. 22); and super-sexy Caps, the late Ava Gardner (Dec. 24), Sienna Miller (Dec. 28) and Marianne Faithfull (Dec. 29).

Sagittarius (November 23-December 22): Charismatic and funny, Sag values intelligence and fresh perspectives. Diligent portion control followed by triumphant shopping these last few weeks have been well worth the effort. You are being noticed even more than usual so try to be fair and carve out a little time for the slew of people wanting to socialize. That said, it’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind. Remember that mid-month when you feel bound to do something simply because of a crossed conversational wire. A brilliant idea occurs to you around the 12th.

Capricorn (December 23-January 20): Possibility abounds now and in the New Year. Don’t concern yourself with what’s realistic, feasible or practical. There will be plenty of time for thorough scrutiny later on but, at this juncture, dream big and think boldly. It will come together one piece at a time. On the romantic front, you may be tempted by a coy boy; enjoy the dalliance without rushing into anything. If attached, celebrate your passion, hell, get creative. The holiday-party circuit will keep you extra busy and may open new doors. [Read more…]