Honey, your September horoscope is here …

September 1, 2011 by

Yvonne De Carlo

Evan Rachel Wood

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your September is full of intriguing possibilities and sublime pleasures. And happy birthday, Virgo and Libra! A special shout-out and remembrances to alluring Virgos Yvonne De Carlo (Sept. 1), Salma Hayek (Sept. 2), Evan Rachel Wood (Sept. 7), Brian De Palma (Sept. 11), Tommy Lee Jones and Oliver Stone (both Sept. 15), Lauren Bacall (Sept. 16) and Sophia Loren (Sept. 20) and exquisitely talented Libras F. Scott Fitzgerald (Sept. 24), William Faulkner, Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones (all Sept. 25), Gwyneth Paltrow (Sept. 27), Naomi Watts (Sept. 28) and Lizabeth Scott (Sept. 29).

Virgo (August 24-September 23): With a birthday nigh (or just celebrated) you may be pondering the possibility of a little shot of Botox that no one but you and your dermo need to know about. But, for the price of that needle, you could buy a lot of massage time and yoga classes, which offer benefits aplenty. And you still look great. Remember what Virgo icon Sophia Loren said: “Sex appeal is 50 percent what you’ve got and 50 percent what people think you’ve got.” At work, your precision pays off. At play, romance comes to the fore. Enjoy!

Libra (September 24-October 23): You will feel especially powerful this month as you easily connect and hit it off with nearly everyone you encounter. Celebrate your magnetism and relish your independence. A rivalry finally subsides and a friendship follows. At work, remember to provide a pat on the back to a colleague; it will be appreciated. Men are like putty in your hands. Well, what else is new? [Read more…]

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Honey, your August horoscope is here …

August 1, 2011 by
Alfred Hitchcock

Alfred Hitchcock

Alma Hitchcock

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your August is full of spicy mystery and sultry sideways glances. And happy birthday, Leo and Virgo! A special shout-out and remembrances to legendary Leos John Huston (Aug. 5), Lucille Ball and Robert Mitchum (both Aug. 6), Alfred Hitchcock (Aug. 13), Alma Hitchcock (Aug. 14), Ann Blyth (Aug. 16), Robert DeNiro and Sean Penn (Aug. 17), Coco Chanel Aug. 19, and one-of-a-kind Virgos Elliott Gould and Ingrid Bergman (both Aug. 29).

Leo (July 24-August 23): You have so much going on this birthday month, on every front, you’ll feel like a kid in a candy shop or a celeb at a swagfest. Opportunities abound to express your creativity and, without even trying, ideas for expansion and innovation pop into your lioness brain. Meanwhile, a flurry of swank invitations lands on your doorstep. Pace yourself and remember to take a breather so as not to be overwhelmed. A friend may need you to serve as a stylist around the 18th.

Virgo (August 24-September 23): You may feel that you’re butting your head against the wall on the career front as a project drags on or a job-search seems to stall. “Why isn’t Easy Street showing up on my GPS?” you ask. Here’s why: Things usually come to you so effortlessly that it’s a bit of a shock to realize you may need to hunker down and persevere to attain your goal. Horrid-sounding, I know. Don’t fret, though, it won’t come to the point of actually getting your hands dirty and chipping your nail polish. Just go with the flow, have faith, and you’ll be fine. And, as a happy distraction, your love life heats up, especially midmonth. [Read more…]

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Honey, your July horoscope is here …

July 1, 2011 by

Eva Marie Saint

Hilary Swank

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your July is full of sizzling romance and risqué adventures. And happy birthday, Cancer and Leo!

A special shout-out and remembrances to captivating Cancers James M. Cain and Farley Granger (July 1), Eva Marie Saint (July 4), Janet Leigh (July 6), Anjelica Huston (July 8) and Barbara Stanwyck (July 16), and trend-setting Leos Helen Mirren, Sandra Bullock and Stanley Kubrick (July 26), Jackie Kennedy Onassis (July 28) and Hilary Swank (July 30).

Cancer (June 22-July 23): A friend or relative launches a monthlong complain-a-thon, but damn if you didn’t forget which channel it’s on. Oh well, guess you’ll just miss all the woe-is-me excitement. Don’t feel guilty about cutting back the time you spend with closet negheads – you know the ones. Just politely decline when they try to lure you in. Meanwhile, take a spontaneous road trip or wear that daring dress you bought. Summer is the perfect time to mix it up and turn a few heads. Be prepared for lots of attention from the opposite sex the week of 14th.

Leo (July 24-August 23): “Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow,” says Martin Sheen’s character in “Wall Street.” This month, the less you think about cash, the easier it will flow. Your imagination and prowess for problem solving come into the spotlight (me in the spotlight again? oh, all right …) as you easily piece together the pieces to a puzzle at work. Let yourself be playful in relationships. Your inner calm averts a crisis on the 24th. If you need to take the lead planning your b’day bash, so be it. Make it an event to remember! [Read more…]

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Honey, your April horoscope is here …

April 1, 2011 by

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your April is devoid of tiresome fools and fretting over taxes, and instead marked by spring’s sensual delights and adorable bunnies bearing baskets of treats. And happy birthday, Aries and Taurus! A special shout-out to Aries bad asses Bette Davis, Spencer Tracy and Gregory Peck (April 5), Francis Ford Coppola and Russell Crowe (April 7), Julie Christie and Sarah Michelle Gellar (April 14), Maria Bello (April 18) and Taurus mega-talents Jack Nicholson (April 22), Al Pacino (April 25) and Penelope Cruz (April 28).

Bette Davis

Aries (March 21-April 20): Just when you thought strong-willed Aries was aptly personified by Joan Crawford (March 26), along comes Bette Davis (April 5) to give Joan a run for her money. An actress, a fighter and a thinker, Davis was always ahead of her time. One off-screen example: When she co-founded and ran the Hollywood Canteen, a nightclub for WWII servicemen, she insisted that the venue be racially integrated, pointing out that in combat, “The black soldiers take the bullets the same as the whites.” This month, follow in her determined footsteps and, on the creative front, adhere to this Davis maxim: “Attempt the impossible in order to improve your work.” Meanwhile, live it up! Be spontaneous, sexy and silly, and don’t waste time on guilt.

Taurus (April 21-May 21): It might be high time for a spring shopping spree. But before you whip out your wallet, consider the singular beauty of a big fat bank balance; it is a sight to behold. Perhaps you could get by on last year’s haul or restrict yourself to one frugal purchase. Don’t forget to tap your crafty, ever-so-slightly conniving side to dream up a few clever April Fools’ jokes. You shouldn’t deny your adoring fans the chance to enjoy your terrific flair for fun. Be bold with your man the week of the 18th. Come to think of it, why wait till then? [Read more…]

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Honey, your March horoscope is here …

March 1, 2011 by

A smoldering Joan Crawford

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your March is full of sexy lions, luscious lambs and lusty Irishmen. And happy birthday, Pisces and Aries! A special shout-out to Pisces sexpots Javier Bardem (March 1), Daniel Craig (March 2), Jean Harlow (March 3), Rachel Weisz (March 7), Sharon Stone (March 10), Glenn Close and Bruce Willis (March 19), Spike Lee (March 20) and Aries sirens Reese Witherspoon (March 22) and Joan Crawford (March 23) and Keira Knightley (March 26).

Capricorn (December 23-January 20): Is there anything more important than looking glamorous? Well, maybe world peace and curing cancer but no matter how many worthy causes we support it’s just as important to nourish the soul with beauty. And if you find beauty in jewelry, cash, clothes and shoes, then so be it. Keep in mind that in addition to your accomplishments, you will be remembered for how well you treat people so give the benefit of the doubt, tip generously and be the first to smile. The 8th is an ideal time to take a small risk. [Read more…]

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Honey, your February horoscope is here …

February 1, 2011 by

Kim Novak in "Vertigo"

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your February is full of riches and romance. And happy birthday, Aquarius and Pisces! A special shout-out to Aquarians Clark Gable and John Ford (both Feb. 1), Lana Turner (Feb. 8), Jennifer Aniston (Feb. 11), Kim Novak (Feb. 13) and Pisces women Drew Barrymore (Feb. 22), Joan Bennett and Elizabeth Taylor (Feb. 27).

Capricorn (December 23-January 20): There is a Chinese proverb that says, “It’s as difficult to be rich without bragging as it is to be poor without complaining.” While bragging and complaining are equally unattractive, money means possibility, choices and freedom so don’t feel guilty for wanting an ample supply. Guilt (for any reason) saps your energy like a crack in your Limoges tea cup drains your ginseng peppermint. Treat yourself to a classic red mani-pedi (Revlon’s Frankly Scarlet, for instance, or MAC’s Asiatique) so you’ll look glam in Cupid’s honor. Be extra generous on the 12th.
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Aquarius (January 21-February 19): There is a project that calls for your expertise and you are well placed to provide direction. Lovely! But do not get roped into executing the nitty-gritty tactics, just because someone asks you nicely. On the social front, keep in mind the old saying: If you can’t be good, don’t get caught. And when was the last time you were good, 1997?. You may need Excel to track your suitors in the leadup to Valentine’s. If you’re in an exclusive relationship, a long romantic weekend may be in the cards. Pay special attention to details on the weekend of the 18th. [Read more…]
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